There’s nothing quite like a good ah-ha moment.
You know the kind—when all the puzzle pieces finally click into place. The fog lifts, the storyline makes sense, and we understand why.
- Ah-ha! That’s why they pulled away.
- Ah-ha! That’s the lesson I was supposed to learn.
- Ah-ha! That’s the reason for the struggle.
Even when the insight isn’t good news—your co-worker was distancing because they found a new job and didn’t know how to tell you, or your child’s learning struggles turn out to be rooted in an undiagnosed learning difference—there’s still a kind of peace that comes with understanding. We may not like the answer, but we stop spinning. I call that peace acceptance.
The Space Between the Question and the Answer
Human beings are meaning-makers. We crave understanding. When we don’t have it, we fill in the blanks with the most coherent story we can muster—often one built from our fears and insecurities. Often, the question wasn’t our question to answer in the first place
- Why hasn’t my daughter heard back after her interview last week?
- She blew it.
- Her old manger gave her a bad reference.
- The market is saturated. She is never going to find a job.
Maybe this rejection will lead her down a new career path that is more aligned with her passions. Maybe she will get the job after all. The absence of answers doesn’t just leave a blank—it creates tension. Our minds stew, our thoughts spiral. We rehearse conversations that never happened and brace for outcomes that may never arrive. All in search of closure.
But here’s the thing: life rarely hands us a tidy answer. Sometimes the “why” never comes. Or it comes months—or years—later, so we must learn to navigate the messy middle.
Stop Stewing—Start Doing
Instead of overthinking, try asking:
- Is this mine to figure out?
- Can I take any meaningful step today?
- Or is it time to pause and trust?
Maybe you feel like an elected official is not adequately representing issues that concern you. You could stew about the potential negative impact of their decisions, or you could act. Write a letter, attend a town hall meeting, engage in community forums. Do what is within your control.
Let Go of the Stew
Worry is a domino-emotion. It rarely stays contained. It activates anxiety, drains our energy, and pulls us away from the present. And while it may give you a “feeling of control” in the moment, it’s fleeting.
So, if you’re waiting for your ah-ha, I see you. But while you’re waiting—live well in the in-between.
- Link arms with people who help you feel grounded.
- Don’t take on what isn’t yours.
- Own what is. Reality is found in the right now moment.
- Act when and where you can, understanding that the best action may no action.
You can pause.
You can breathe.
You can move forward without an answer
To make an appointment with Anne go to https://getcenteredcounselingstl.com/staff/anne/