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14137 Clayton Road Town and Country, MO 63017
info@getcenteredcounselingstl.com | 314-899-2670

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    • Adult Counseling, Stress Management & More in the St. Louis Area
      • ADD/ADHD Counseling for Me
      • Anger Management Counseling in the St. Louis Area
      • Autism Spectrum Counseling for Adults
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
      • Counseling for Anxiety
      • Counseling for New Mothers
      • Counseling for Parents-Guardians
      • Counseling for Trauma in the St. Louis Area
      • Depression Counseling for Adults
      • Disordered Eating Counseling for Adults
      • Grief & Bereavement Counseling
      • LGBTQIA+ Individual Therapy
      • Mindfulness-Based Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Counseling
      • Social Anxiety Disorder Counseling
    • Child & Teenage Counseling in St. Louis & Surrounding Area
      • ADD/ADHD Counseling
      • Anxiety for Youth and Teens
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder Therapy
      • Depression Counseling for Kids and Teens
      • Disordered Eating – Teens and Youth
      • Family/Household Concerns
      • Gaming Disorder Treatment & Counseling for Teens in the St. Louis Area
      • Grief/Loss
      • Home/School Behaviors
      • Play Therapy
      • Self Esteem/Bullying
      • Unhealthy/Unsafe Relationships
    • Therapy for Young Adults & College Students in St. Louis
    • For Couples
      • Conjoint Couples/Parenting Therapy
      • Conflict Resolution
      • Marriage Counseling & Couples Counseling in the St. Louis Area
      • Divorce Recovery Therapy
      • Pre-Marital Counseling
    • For Families
      • Counseling for Drinking or Chemical Use Concerns
      • “Failure to Launch” Syndrome
      • Family Counseling
    • Telehealth
    • ADHD, Speech Pathology, Coaching in St. Louis & Surrounding Area
      • ADHD Rehabilitation Coaching
      • For Work/Life Balance and Healthy Living
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      • Coaching for Career Balance
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Couples – How to Regulate Yourself During Difficult Conversations

February 27, 2023 by Get Centered Counseling Coaching and Wellness

Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done.

During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, their brain sensing danger. Before they know it, the most primitive part of their brain is activated in an effort to help them survive. And this is when things can get ugly. Because it’s fairly impossible to speak calmly and rationally when your entire body is in survival mode.

Luckily there are things we can do during difficult conversations to regulate our emotional responses and keep ourselves calm and level-headed.

Pause and Breathe

As soon as you start to feel triggered, pause and take a few slow, deep breaths. While deep breathing may seem like a cliche, it is actually a very powerful tool that helps us get out of “fight or flight” mode and into a more relaxed state. When we breathe slowly and deeply, it sends a signal to our brain that we are out of danger.

Use Your Senses

Another effective way to regulate your emotions in the moment is to focus your attention on a physical sensation. You could take a sip of water and really feel the sensation of drinking, or you could run your fingers along the seam of the sofa cushion.

Listen Fully

It is so common in a conversation to listen to form a response. But when we do this it is far easier to misunderstand what the other person is really saying. Be sure to listen to understand, not to form a response.

Difficult conversations are inevitable when you are in any kind of relationship. But if you use these tips to regulate yourself, you can remain calm and communicate effectively with your partner.

SOURCES:

https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/hard-relationship-conversations

How to Self-Regulate During a Difficult Conversation

https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation

Filed Under: Couples Counseling, Uncategorized

14137 Clayton Road
Town and Country, MO 63017

314-899-2670
info@getcenteredcounselingstl.com

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314-899-2670
info@getcenteredcounselingstl.com

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